As I was leaving my husband, he said I was going straight to hell. He used the term “she devil.” So, there’s that.
More recently, a man said that it is through me that he knows that god is present on the earth.
See? 180 degrees!
When we came back to school in August 2020, one little girl was unusual for an 18-month-old. Let’s call her Sophia. She could walk only if she could hold someone’s finger. Even holding a grown-up’s finger, Sophia hesitated at the edge of a mat that was just an inch high above the floor. With encouragement, she would take the step. She could sit at the toddler tables and feed herself. She had very few words, which is not uncommon for someone her age, especially a second child as she was. Fall of 2020 my work schedule included naptime and, frequently, I was the one who sat with her as she fell asleep.
Sometime in the second week or so, it was clear that Sophia had connected with me in an extraordinary way. She lit up when I came into the room. Teachers remarked on it. One teacher asked me if I was so proud that I was so special to Sophia. The teacher said how proud she would be if a toddler had that kind of regard for her. I said, “No, not really proud. More humbled. And I mainly think ‘I sure as hell better not die!’’’ We have some video of Sophia learning to walk with my voice encouraging her and with her face beaming with her accomplishment. Within a few months, Sophia had expanded her affection to include all the teachers. I was happy for her and relieved. Sophia is now in a primary class of three to six year olds. She turned four in January and is thriving.
I’ve written the story of Diane who, when I said I was sorry I’d hurt her feelings, exclaimed, “Hurt my feelings? You broke my heart! And don’t think about asking my forgiveness. I don’t believe in forgiveness.”
See? 180 degrees!
No doubt there are plenty, plenty who fall between these extremes. Bottom line. I’m glad I’m who I am and I’m grateful for the life I get to live.
— Marmar
More recently, a man said that it is through me that he knows that god is present on the earth.
See? 180 degrees!
When we came back to school in August 2020, one little girl was unusual for an 18-month-old. Let’s call her Sophia. She could walk only if she could hold someone’s finger. Even holding a grown-up’s finger, Sophia hesitated at the edge of a mat that was just an inch high above the floor. With encouragement, she would take the step. She could sit at the toddler tables and feed herself. She had very few words, which is not uncommon for someone her age, especially a second child as she was. Fall of 2020 my work schedule included naptime and, frequently, I was the one who sat with her as she fell asleep.
Sometime in the second week or so, it was clear that Sophia had connected with me in an extraordinary way. She lit up when I came into the room. Teachers remarked on it. One teacher asked me if I was so proud that I was so special to Sophia. The teacher said how proud she would be if a toddler had that kind of regard for her. I said, “No, not really proud. More humbled. And I mainly think ‘I sure as hell better not die!’’’ We have some video of Sophia learning to walk with my voice encouraging her and with her face beaming with her accomplishment. Within a few months, Sophia had expanded her affection to include all the teachers. I was happy for her and relieved. Sophia is now in a primary class of three to six year olds. She turned four in January and is thriving.
I’ve written the story of Diane who, when I said I was sorry I’d hurt her feelings, exclaimed, “Hurt my feelings? You broke my heart! And don’t think about asking my forgiveness. I don’t believe in forgiveness.”
See? 180 degrees!
No doubt there are plenty, plenty who fall between these extremes. Bottom line. I’m glad I’m who I am and I’m grateful for the life I get to live.
— Marmar
Sophia imprinted on you, and you were worth it! It's good that she has a bigger world now. What a sweet experience. I wonder why your colleague used the word "proud"? Was she jealous? Some people cannot see clearly, I guess. I wonder what made you think of "180 Degrees"? About-face. Turnaround. Opposites. Binaries. You posited a circle, though. Yes. (Macoff)
ReplyDeleteI love your 180 degrees, the rounding of life experience, the joy of recognition when the 180 degree cycle has been made evident. Beautifully written and lived.
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