to wear a bra, a skirt, a dress: always
trying to satisfy arbitrariness, always.
until the I who wore the clothes was
at heart forgot, lost in reproof, always.
when I chewed my pencil for thought
to ooze out in notebooks: wrong way!
or won first prize at any thing --
many things -- luck, not good at ... always.
shuffling (and drinking) through a life
belonging to no one: I can't decode always
just what it's like to be missing so much that
who knows it's gone is neither there, always.
I who finally emerged does not incline
towards forgiveness: liberation always!
And I dress myself in outrage and temper,
guard against inward disappearance: ALWAYS.
— joystjohn
trying to satisfy arbitrariness, always.
until the I who wore the clothes was
at heart forgot, lost in reproof, always.
when I chewed my pencil for thought
to ooze out in notebooks: wrong way!
or won first prize at any thing --
many things -- luck, not good at ... always.
shuffling (and drinking) through a life
belonging to no one: I can't decode always
just what it's like to be missing so much that
who knows it's gone is neither there, always.
I who finally emerged does not incline
towards forgiveness: liberation always!
And I dress myself in outrage and temper,
guard against inward disappearance: ALWAYS.
— joystjohn
God. This is great. I can connect to this from the first "wear a bra, a skirt, a dress" to the last
ReplyDeleteAnd I dress myself in outrage and temper,
guard against inward disappearance: ALWAYS.
You have created a poem that is the life reality for so many of us. Thank you.
I feel I know "I who finally emerged." I am sad for all before the "finally" and some after. I tried looking for your poetic tricks, structures, games. But in this poem, the content overwhelms. (Macoff)
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