Matriarch

My maternal grandmother was my favorite. As the first grandchild, I named her Granner although the next in line called her Nanner. All the family gatherings were held at her big house where my mom and her siblings grew up. Her name was Dorothy Mae and her best friend called her Dot. The family lore is that her first husband wanted lots of children and would only marry her after she conceived. She had 3 kids in quick succession then a stillbirth and finally my mother. The proud and wealthy father died of tuberculosis when my mom was three years old. Seven years later, Granner married Grandpa Bill. She sipped bourbon on the rocks and had a large color tv that you could watch from across the room. She sat in one big easy chair and Grandpa Bill in another. She also smoked cigarettes which ultimately led to her death. When I was a senior in high school, Grandpa Bill had declined cognitively to the point where he was living in a care home. Granner’s mind was sharp, but her health became a problem. She was in a hospital bed in the dining room after having part of her leg amputated. She had a few helpers live with her. I heard that one was fired for falling down the stairs while drunk. The final caregiver was wonderful then she needed some time off for surgery and recuperation. It had to be my favorite aunt who suggested that I sleep there during this time, filling in until the helper could return. So I moved into my grandmother’s bedroom upstairs which had its own bathroom. Her brother, Uncle Don, hung out with her during the day and stocked the refrigerator. I lived on Van de Kamp’s date nut loaf with cream cheese for breakfast. Following my high school classes, I worked at Baskin Robbins 31 Flavors scooping ice cream. After we closed and cleaned the store, I’d call (landline to landline) Granner. She’d always wanted to know if I was going out to have fun. Not in a pink uniform with my hair up in braids and school in the morning. I remember eating my take home scoop and showering before bed. I studied for the AP French test at the big desk downstairs. I passed it with a 3 which got me ten credits at UCSB and let me graduate on time. At some point, the caregiver returned and I moved back home with my parents and sister. Granner gave me an overnight bag with a $50 bill in it for graduation. She died in the late summer before I left for college. I think it was only the second funeral I’d ever attended.

— KathyV