Within the last couple of years or maybe five, I’ve been with my sister sometimes and my daughter sometimes telling stories. When I’ve told a story, one or the other – usually my sister – will say “that didn’t happen” or “that’s not how that happened.” I have clear and vivid memories of things that never happened. That is unsettling to say the least. Honestly, sometimes I think I’m the one getting in right and my sister’s recollection is flawed. She is my big sister, though, so I would not challenge her unless I had some clear evidence to show I’m right about a memory. So, now I write. I write what I remember. If I want to tell a story, I preface the telling with “this is how I remember it.” This saves me some embarrassment at least with my sister says “that never happened.”
— Marmar
— Marmar
I have been in your shoes! Well told. That's your story and you're sticking to it!
ReplyDeleteI do now cushion my stories with words of maybe this or that to preserve some of my integrity of self. Thanks. I appreciate the affirmation of my experience and of my story.
DeleteSiblings always remember things differently from each other. One of my key memories from childhood involves a birthday party for my brother and he does not remember it at all. Fortunately in this case, my story was confirmed by our mom. But, I know I've got as many memories wrong as right. Memory is a funny thing. Thanks for writing about it.
ReplyDeleteMemory is a funny thing. There might could be (that might be southern speak) a 40 Days + 40 Writes with prompts pertinent to memory.
DeleteMore than a funny thing, memory is apparently different or altered with each remembering. There's a lot of neuroscience about this, probably available for reading if you like reading science. I prefer podcasts (which are not as thorough or deep). I wish you did not have to defer to your sister like that, because, darnit, you REMEMBER it. She forgot it. Doesn't it "curb your enthusiasm" about the story you are telling if you have to be so careful? I'm on your side! (Macoff)
ReplyDelete