Montessori education puts the child first. As toddlers, they choose the lesson they want to work on. There are practices – the child lays out a lesson mat (like a table mat), puts the lesson on the mat, and works on the lesson which can be matching shapes, counting, recognizing colors. Without mats, the children work on practical life skills like cleaning windows, clearing their dishes after lunch, sweeping up spills. They are responsible for cleaning up their messes with help available, as needed. Pretty straightforward, huh?
These small humans come to us when they are 18 months old and stay with us until they’re three years old. If you’ve watched these months of development, you’ve seen remarkable changes. Language goes from four or five words to full sentences. Strength and coordination go from the child’s being barely able to sit in a swing to being able to high with arm and leg strength. So many changes! One of the most profound and important life skills for living in community is learning to stay clean and dry all day by successfully getting to the potty, eliminating, and cleaning up independently.
Here's the tension. At this Montessori school, the toddler teachers set the time to start potty training at about 2 ½. Although there is conversation with parents, I’ve not seen that there’s real agreement on the timing, how to manage the transition to underwear, and how to talk about accidents and successes. Shortly after I started and saw this part of the routine, I suggested to the lead teacher that they try what worked for me and my children during this developmental stage. I can’t take credit; my sister taught it to me. You simply make big kid underwear available. The child expresses readiness to be clean and dry all day and starts wearing cloth underwear. If there are more accidents and successes, you say matter-of-factly that he or she just isn’t quite ready, and you’ll try again soon. It usually takes two or three starts and then the child uses the potty routinely. Not that there are no accidents ever and not you don’t suggest and model using the toilet before getting in the car, but mostly the child tends to toileting independently. This did usually happen at about two and a half.
So in this “power to the child” environment, I have no idea why the grown people want to hold onto control of this part of development. They do, though.
— Marmar
These small humans come to us when they are 18 months old and stay with us until they’re three years old. If you’ve watched these months of development, you’ve seen remarkable changes. Language goes from four or five words to full sentences. Strength and coordination go from the child’s being barely able to sit in a swing to being able to high with arm and leg strength. So many changes! One of the most profound and important life skills for living in community is learning to stay clean and dry all day by successfully getting to the potty, eliminating, and cleaning up independently.
Here's the tension. At this Montessori school, the toddler teachers set the time to start potty training at about 2 ½. Although there is conversation with parents, I’ve not seen that there’s real agreement on the timing, how to manage the transition to underwear, and how to talk about accidents and successes. Shortly after I started and saw this part of the routine, I suggested to the lead teacher that they try what worked for me and my children during this developmental stage. I can’t take credit; my sister taught it to me. You simply make big kid underwear available. The child expresses readiness to be clean and dry all day and starts wearing cloth underwear. If there are more accidents and successes, you say matter-of-factly that he or she just isn’t quite ready, and you’ll try again soon. It usually takes two or three starts and then the child uses the potty routinely. Not that there are no accidents ever and not you don’t suggest and model using the toilet before getting in the car, but mostly the child tends to toileting independently. This did usually happen at about two and a half.
So in this “power to the child” environment, I have no idea why the grown people want to hold onto control of this part of development. They do, though.
— Marmar
Yes, authorities always seem to believe in their standards above individuality. Good for you, for advocating for the kids. They are ready when they are ready. We just need to listen, which goes beyond child development and throughout life. Well written and clear.
ReplyDeleteThank you. Well, to be honest, I advocated three times over a period of months and just quit. We are getting a new head of school in June and also a new lead teacher in our toddler classroom. I might try again. Especially if I can remember to remember your encouragement.
DeleteI'm not clear about what the parents and/or those you disagree with... are advocating. Earlier potty training? Seems to me that your method makes sense. Good descriptions and many truths! (Macoff)
ReplyDeleteThe teachers set an arbitrary date to begin potty training. Parents are advised of the date. I don't know whether or not parents are included in the planning. I know that the child is not. I advocate that the child say when he or she is ready to be clean and dry all day and that the adults work with the child toward the child's achieving successful independence in toileting.
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