Dear LBro:
I can only hope that even though you haven’t written in a year, you are at least reading these letters. I’m just going to jump right in. Do you remember the spring break I brought home Peter, a friend from school? He ended up leaving in a huff. When I got back to school, he was no longer speaking to me. You don’t need the details of that fight. Suffice it to say I misconstrued his intent, and he was highly offended by my overtures. Anyway, I ran into Peter today in the cafeteria. Ted Taylor makes sure there is breakfast, lunch, dinner and overnight snacks – he wants his people well fueled at all hours. A couple weeks ago I went to grab an afternoon apple and there was Peter. Oddly enough, he greeted me like an old friend – surprising because we had not ended things on even mildly friendly terms.
His research, what he turned in with his thesis, was stolen. I had done the research and he stole it. Presented it as his own. I threatened to turn him in. He threatened to tell the school about my “Proclivities” was the word he’d used at the time. I was so afraid of being thrown out, that I let it go. I changed the focus of my thesis as a result. All things worked out for the best. I was recruited for this project I just wish I could tell you about. Peter apparently is working on something a lot less prestigious. He sidled up to me in the cafeteria and started peppering me with questions about the project. I couldn’t tell him anything, of course, it’s classified – even from others outside the project.
So I thought that was all. I thought he’d grown up. But he’d lie in wait and follow me to my car, he began to imply that he’d tell the team that my security clearance could be compromised, because, you know. I blew him off.
I’m started to get really angry. You know me, George. I try to use logic and calm, anger isn’t my thing, but I’m not sleeping well. I’m constantly on edge. He’s really got my goat.
Thank you for letting me get this off my chest, even if I don’t know whether you’re even seeing this. The thing is, I’m scared. And scared makes me angry. And the more I feel my back is against the wall, the angrier I get. If it was just me, if Peter was hinting that he could ruin just me, it would be one thing. But he’s actually threatening someone I care about. That makes me see red. I don’t want to do something stupid. I don’t want to threaten my position at the Lab – it’s so exciting, I wish I could share with you.
Anyway LBro, I write you a letter, to see if I can calm down and stop shaking. I’m home alone at the moment, so “talking” to you is my best option.
Give my love to Mom and Pops!
Your BBro,
Gerald
— Lkai
I can only hope that even though you haven’t written in a year, you are at least reading these letters. I’m just going to jump right in. Do you remember the spring break I brought home Peter, a friend from school? He ended up leaving in a huff. When I got back to school, he was no longer speaking to me. You don’t need the details of that fight. Suffice it to say I misconstrued his intent, and he was highly offended by my overtures. Anyway, I ran into Peter today in the cafeteria. Ted Taylor makes sure there is breakfast, lunch, dinner and overnight snacks – he wants his people well fueled at all hours. A couple weeks ago I went to grab an afternoon apple and there was Peter. Oddly enough, he greeted me like an old friend – surprising because we had not ended things on even mildly friendly terms.
His research, what he turned in with his thesis, was stolen. I had done the research and he stole it. Presented it as his own. I threatened to turn him in. He threatened to tell the school about my “Proclivities” was the word he’d used at the time. I was so afraid of being thrown out, that I let it go. I changed the focus of my thesis as a result. All things worked out for the best. I was recruited for this project I just wish I could tell you about. Peter apparently is working on something a lot less prestigious. He sidled up to me in the cafeteria and started peppering me with questions about the project. I couldn’t tell him anything, of course, it’s classified – even from others outside the project.
So I thought that was all. I thought he’d grown up. But he’d lie in wait and follow me to my car, he began to imply that he’d tell the team that my security clearance could be compromised, because, you know. I blew him off.
I’m started to get really angry. You know me, George. I try to use logic and calm, anger isn’t my thing, but I’m not sleeping well. I’m constantly on edge. He’s really got my goat.
Thank you for letting me get this off my chest, even if I don’t know whether you’re even seeing this. The thing is, I’m scared. And scared makes me angry. And the more I feel my back is against the wall, the angrier I get. If it was just me, if Peter was hinting that he could ruin just me, it would be one thing. But he’s actually threatening someone I care about. That makes me see red. I don’t want to do something stupid. I don’t want to threaten my position at the Lab – it’s so exciting, I wish I could share with you.
Anyway LBro, I write you a letter, to see if I can calm down and stop shaking. I’m home alone at the moment, so “talking” to you is my best option.
Give my love to Mom and Pops!
Your BBro,
Gerald
— Lkai
Dynamics continue to be layered and compelling. You grasp the underlying reality and gripping fear back then of being found out to be homosexual.
ReplyDeleteThis is a really good glimpse of the ill-fated Gerald. I feel so bad that his brother never read the letters. You are able to elicit feelings with this story. (Macoff)
ReplyDelete