The first funeral I attended was for a high school classmate, her sibling, and parents who all died in a car accident on a summer trip. All I remember was a very crowded church and four caskets. The next summer, I attended my grandmother’s service and walked from the church to the gravesite. Many elderly people there remembered me as a baby, toddler, child and wanted to share those memories. It was a blur. When my aunt died, she had made all the arrangements for her burial ahead of time. There was a small graveside gathering with a few family members. I stopped at Trader Joe’s on the way and bought a few bunches of sunflowers so everyone could hold something. After I threw mine in on top of the casket, so did everyone else. In my garage, I have a basket for taking ashes out to sea. We went out on the Body Glove boat and saw how their captain did it. Rose petals then the ashes then more petals then lots of flowers to hold, such as carnations. The basket has a handle to lower it into the sea with a boat hook. A string is tied on the bottom to overturn the basket and bring it back on board. The rose petals float and the ashes make a large gray cloud. The boat circles around the widening floating petals and blows its horn a few times as we toss in our stemmed flowers. Because the boat has to stop, remarks are kept brief to avoid any seasickness. In my beach town there are quite a few paddle outs. People sit on their surfboards or stand on the beach while the ashes are put in the water. One friend dumped his dad’s ashes into his wetsuit and jumped in the ocean. The last celebration of life I attended was for a dear friend. Once in hospice care she and her daughter planned her celebration of life. It was beautiful and a wonderful tribute with nine speakers limited to five minutes each. Nothing is worse than a never ending eulogy except one filled with fire and brimstone. I started a playlist years ago when slideshows of the deceased were all the rage at memorials. Some are hymns or chants or taizé music that move me.
— KathyV
— KathyV
I usually leave something blank like my name until ready to post. I was going to change the title from Farewell to something else when I bumped ‘submit’. So now it’s a weird truncated title.
ReplyDeleteI was wondering about that! What's "taize"? Gonna have to look it up. (Macoff)
DeleteStraightforward narrative without being cold and with warmth and feeling without being mushy.
ReplyDeleteDo you live in Hawaii? I looked up the "Body Glove" boat and found images from Hawaii. My gosh, so many Dippers live in beautiful places! (I cannot imagine that for myself, although my Southern location certainly has SOME beauty, especially in the spring.) This is written in your usual straightforward style, KathyV, ending when it ends. It's very refreshing to read, and contains moments that could be expanded upon, and sometimes you do! (Macoff)
ReplyDeleteI live in Manhattan Beach and Disappearance is the Body Glove boat in King Harbor, the marina in Redondo Beach. Bill and Bob Meistrell were twins who made a neoprene wetsuit they called The Body Glove which was and is sold from the Dive N Surf shop. They were wonderfully generous and kind gentlemen Bill died in 2006 and Bob in 2013. There were over 1000 surfers and paddlers for his paddle out memorial. The business and boat are still owned and run by their children and grandchildren. They are local legends.
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