Fire on mountain, the stranger
finds himself out of sorts and vulnerable
no sense
needing to tread lightly
Keep your things(self) near; gain a friend.
Finally!
After being so lost:
Harmony with the precious cosmos,
She knows you and
you know just how your patterns are part of
what
aligns you accordingly with the dance of life
Feu sur montagne, l'étranger
il se trouve hors d'état, et vulnérable
ni sens
besoin: marcher lentement
Garde affaires(soi) près; gagne ami.
Ah! Enfin !
Après si perdu:
L'harmonie avec précieux cosmos,
Elle vous connaît
Savez comment vos modèles font partie
quelqu'
vous aligne en conséquence avec danse de vie
— joystjohn
finds himself out of sorts and vulnerable
no sense
needing to tread lightly
Keep your things(self) near; gain a friend.
Finally!
After being so lost:
Harmony with the precious cosmos,
She knows you and
you know just how your patterns are part of
what
aligns you accordingly with the dance of life
Feu sur montagne, l'étranger
il se trouve hors d'état, et vulnérable
ni sens
besoin: marcher lentement
Garde affaires(soi) près; gagne ami.
Ah! Enfin !
Après si perdu:
L'harmonie avec précieux cosmos,
Elle vous connaît
Savez comment vos modèles font partie
quelqu'
vous aligne en conséquence avec danse de vie
— joystjohn
This is "Macoff." Just trying the "Anonymous" method of commenting. Will it work? Anyway, I'm impressed that you created the poem in two languages, and I wonder which language came first. Aside from that, I'm also wondering if the lines divided the way you intended. Aside also from THAT, I have read the English one several times and still have difficulty interpreting. Why is "no sense" on a line by itself, and why does it seem to have no connection to the previous line? Or is it supposed to be connected to the following line ("needing to tread lightly"). My main question is: Are these two different characters? Is the man himself a "fire on mountain"? Is he ecologically unaware? Are "things" tantamount to a "self"? Are you suggesting that the acquisition of a "friend" is not really the top prize? Is it Death that brings the second stanza's celebration? What else could it be? Escaping "self" while alive is not really possible, although it can seem that it has occurred (that's just my opinion). So to me, the second stanza takes place in the afterlife (or suchlike). But then, of course, my interpretation is wobbled by the last line with its "dance of life." I read the French for its sound (in my mind). I do recognize many words. I'm not completely monolingual, just mostly.
ReplyDeleteI made a huge reply and it's gone. I can't bare to write it all again. :'(
DeleteOh no! Oh, dear. Maybe you can say in person?
Delete