I once went to see Maya Angelou at the local college. She was in a wheelchair and all dressed in black. She told us that she had lost a dear friend just recently. She was glad to be with us but when you lose a dear friend, everyone else you have ever lost comes back to pay a visit.
Today, I know that this is true. The dizzying series of calls to coroners, morticians, family, friends, lawyers, and all of those who want to provide comfort sends a constant electric current of angst through every cell of my being. In between the moments of surreal planning for the leftover legacies of living, I feel the presence of my mom, my older sister, my best man, my best friend in elementary school and beyond, my first love, the dad who raised me, the dad who got me started, they are all flowing through me today as I get ready for the flight back to California.
I saw my sister just a week ago today. She was ready to go. It is almost as if our visit was what she needed to leave. The rose she left with our friends is still blooming today. Her cat is waiting for me to arrive. The assembled spirits of the saints are waiting, and those who have already passed are with me now as I try to remember the 100 details needed by the legacy of living, as I feel the buzzing electric energy of loss, as I check and re-check the details of the rituals about to take place.
Everyone is with me now. All the lost family. All the lost friends. They are all paying me a visit, whispering the truth, and encouraging me to take the steps I need to take. The energy is never lost.
— DanielSouthGate
Today, I know that this is true. The dizzying series of calls to coroners, morticians, family, friends, lawyers, and all of those who want to provide comfort sends a constant electric current of angst through every cell of my being. In between the moments of surreal planning for the leftover legacies of living, I feel the presence of my mom, my older sister, my best man, my best friend in elementary school and beyond, my first love, the dad who raised me, the dad who got me started, they are all flowing through me today as I get ready for the flight back to California.
I saw my sister just a week ago today. She was ready to go. It is almost as if our visit was what she needed to leave. The rose she left with our friends is still blooming today. Her cat is waiting for me to arrive. The assembled spirits of the saints are waiting, and those who have already passed are with me now as I try to remember the 100 details needed by the legacy of living, as I feel the buzzing electric energy of loss, as I check and re-check the details of the rituals about to take place.
Everyone is with me now. All the lost family. All the lost friends. They are all paying me a visit, whispering the truth, and encouraging me to take the steps I need to take. The energy is never lost.
— DanielSouthGate
Very emotional. So sad. I wish you safe passage.
ReplyDeleteGod. This is beautiful in the realities expressed and in the poetic expression. I love that you are surrounded by so many. Sad and the story of the continuum. Margaret
ReplyDeleteThank you. So many people have passed in this last year. It is the beginning of that time of life.
ReplyDelete