One thing I have lost sight of is my passion/enthusiasm/zest. Part of it was the long isolating pandemic that a new friend refers to as ‘the pause’. I’m a social person and to be restricted from interacting in person took away some joy. Now many of us are out of the habit and tentative about how to proceed. Plus there are the new health issues that have increased my visits to doctors. Usually the nurses ask all those leading questions about depression and suicide. I try to be honest that I’m a bit unenthusiastic, but no where near self harm. Last week I had lots of vials of blood drawn and will see my hematologist next week. The test he watches is still the same number: 0.7 gm/dL so that is good news. I’m still trying to decipher the bloodwork my new neurologist requested. Plus the rainy weather is not adding any positive ambience. The normal total season rainfall for LAX is 12.23 inches and at the end of February we were at 16.32 inches. So far in March, we have received 5.26 inches of rain so we are well above normal. There were blue skies visible in between storms today and I felt like I was in Ray Bradbury’s short story All Summer in a Day. It’s raining steadily again and the sky is monochromatic gray. It’s just dreary weather in a season of grief on this first full day of spring.
— KathyV
— KathyV
I've spent several weeks down there recently and have never seen anything like it. I hope the skies clear soon, before I return, and your "passion/ethusiasm/zest" returns as spring sets really sets in and sun takes its normal so. cal position. Your writing is clear and evocative. Thanks for sharing.
ReplyDeleteI totally get what you mean by "the pause" affecting everything. People developed different, more isolated lifestyles, and social TRUST was eroded. Although I accomplished things while isolated, I am still not the same as I was. If I have "zest," it's random and awkward! I think it will come back, but the naturalness of it may take longer. And yeah, there are the medical issues... (Macoff)
ReplyDelete