The world seems to be divided between huggers and nonhuggers. I fall into the former category. Hugging friends or acquaintances spontaneously is not something I usually do. This came to mind a few days ago when I was in a meeting I usually don’t attend and this large friendly man I hadn’t seen in a year or so embraced me. He was genuinely happy to see me and I to see him. In that situation, it felt right and normal. It was a lot like hugging Santa Claus. There were others in the room that I hadn’t seen in a long time but he was the only one communicating with hugs.
I think physical contact reassures me that I am lovable although I wasn’t raised with lots of hugs. I remember one aunt who would always hug and kiss me when I was little and it felt like something to be avoided. It seems like that has carried over to my adult life. I don’t have a lot of contact with kids these days and it wouldn’t occur to me to do what she did.
I feel differently about touching cats or dogs that appear friendly. As an adult, I’ve usually been a cat owner and petting cats and listening to that reflexive purring is very soothing and delightful.
I think my go to method of communication of love is verbal rather than tactile. I’ll probably stay I the nonhugger camp for the rest of my life with notable exception for Santa Claus like old friends.
— Oxnard15
I think physical contact reassures me that I am lovable although I wasn’t raised with lots of hugs. I remember one aunt who would always hug and kiss me when I was little and it felt like something to be avoided. It seems like that has carried over to my adult life. I don’t have a lot of contact with kids these days and it wouldn’t occur to me to do what she did.
I feel differently about touching cats or dogs that appear friendly. As an adult, I’ve usually been a cat owner and petting cats and listening to that reflexive purring is very soothing and delightful.
I think my go to method of communication of love is verbal rather than tactile. I’ll probably stay I the nonhugger camp for the rest of my life with notable exception for Santa Claus like old friends.
— Oxnard15
It's a strange world, the world of hugs. Those from older relatives are experienced as weird by younger kids, even when they like the relative. It's a power play of some sort, though manifested innocently. Adults are drawn to children and can get what they want from them. Kids have to be REALLY alert and motivated to ward it off, and mostly, it's harmless. But distasteful. I tend to offer hugs to adults now if I sense they NEED one. And that may be a total projection; I may be the one who needs one! I hug my husband a lot, and it's very nourishing. I will hug elderly men who seem lonely to me if I know them pretty well. My parents never hugged me until VERY late in the game, so it had to be learned. It's not "magical" and it won't solve all the problems! Sometimes I just don't bother! (Macoff) (NOTE: I think you meant "latter" category, not "former.")
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