Reparations

“I don’t care what he meant, really,” Ayana told her daughter as they drove. “It doesn’t change the good news that I’m full-time now. Anyway, Ben has never been very talkative with me. Some kind of introvert thing, or even a snob thing. I don’t think he meant black people.” Ayana was already regretting her unconsidered response— “One of who, Mr Stillman?”

Yejide wasn’t so sure. As her mother told it, It sounded like the spontaneous remark of a cheapskate business owner—“I do want to make it clear that there will be only one of you working here.” But would Ben have cautioned her mother at all if he hadn’t seen HER in the display room? Did the sight of a second black person in his business make him tighten his mental grip on his money? It wasn’t worth analyzing, Yejide decided. She saw her mother as a don’t-rock-the-boat person, and did not fault her for that. “You’re probably right, Mama,” she said.

Later that evening in their cozy king-sized bed with the half-dozen never-used extra pillows (Edwina’s decor) on the floor, Orville and Edwina were enjoying a post-coital snuggle. It had been weeks since either coitus or snuggling. They were relieved, though Edwina was wary of a future without children. Was that what they had, in fact, agreed upon? What was a marriage without all that toil and trouble? Edwina didn’t know, but didn’t want to put a damper on their small but hot rekindled flame, so she did not share her thoughts on this topic. Smiles and sounds were enough for the moment. Orrie had a quiet laugh he’d laugh after sex, which Edwina liked. She also enjoyed pinching him in random locations— not very hard. It kept him laughing that way until he drifted into sleep.

Toward dawn, Orville woke suddenly. He distinctly felt that something important had slipped his mind, and that he’d just dreamed about it in order to remind himself. In his dream he had seen Ben as a high-schooler fervently arguing for reparations for Black Americans. The dream scene, now fading, had featured Ben as a chubby dark-haired bespectacled teen in a white button-down shirt speaking to a group of ancient, overall-clad country characters around a woodstove in a classic general store high in the Tennessee mountains. “Even after slavery ended, Blacks were LEGALLY and CONTINUALLY denied wealth-building opportunities!” Ben had seemed to be shouting to the sullen gathering. There had been a breeze and the smell of boiled peanuts. Had Orville been watching from the porch of the store? Was this a memory? Or was his mind trying to absolve Ben of suspected racism so that their partnership could remain as it was? He turned to see if Edwina were asleep, but she was not in the bed.

It was not the first time that Edwina had had the urge to watch her DVDs of the “Nature’s Treasures” show she’d hosted on WKOP, but it was the first time she’d had the urge before dawn. This was the rabbit episode, and it always brought tears to her eyes. It had been her idea to interview the man who’d mowed over an Eastern Cottontail nest and accidentally killed three of the babies. The response to that episode had not been positive, however. In fact, remembering those awful comments from the public was what brought on the tears, mostly. Why did she put herself through this? She still believed she had been right, and that it had been a good deed to warn people about rabbit nests. After that episode, her ideas had to be reviewed by two program supervisors, and one of the editors would hastily write awful sample scripts that she was to use for guidance. After the rabbits there were bluebirds, coyotes, and cicadas, and then her contract was not renewed. She was replaced with an eager young man who did not even have a biology degree.

— Macoff