Theodore Campion had left his Tennessee home for the Island of Vancouver in the middle of his college career and apprenticed himself to an electrician in Tofino, a hippie town relatively near Vancouver city. He was now the go-to guy for private solar panel installation for miles around, or so he billed himself. There had been some problems with his work-visa that hadn’t been evident until recently, but Ted was settled, as far as he knew. He wasn’t going to let anyone kick him out, but that was something he rarely thought about.
He wasn’t married, and he wasn’t involved with anyone. He liked his books and his privacy, and the beauty of where he’d chosen to live. That he was still residing in a rented cottage in the backyard of his old mentor, Jake, meant nothing to him except, hey, I’m lucky! Jake and his wife Tally, both of a certain age, were winding down these days, taking it easy. Ted was their dinner guest most nights. They all got along, especially since Ted had a green thumb as far as growing marijuana was concerned. The legally allotted four plants next to the cottage were always tall, bushy, and filled with buds. Ted tried different types each growing season.
Despite himself and his alleged back-to-nature principles, Ted did have a computer, and was a compulsive poster on social media. Some nights he’d tear himself away from the screen grumbling and worrying about his seeming addiction. It was almost a relief to get an email— at least a dozen other people couldn’t chime in with their opinions. The email was from his hapless brother Orville. What now? Orville took everything so seriously. Orville was not his own MAN!
“Ted— A while back I agreed with your idea about not producing any more humans— for the sake of the planet— but now I’m not so sure. I did not relate our discussion to Edwina, and I should have. She’s always said she wanted children. My rather impulsive vasectomy procedure was probably a mistake as far as my relationship with her goes. But how can you understand, since you’ve never had a relationship that lasted more than a few weeks? You’ve led me to a very precarious place here, Ted. You talked me into this. You “inspired” me, as you have done in the past (if you recall the high school protests I helped you with when you were a senior). So tell me, what am I supposed to do now? How can I tell Edwina after two months or more of pretending nothing’s changed?
I realize now that it’s stupid to ask YOU of all people. What would you know about WOMEN? —Orville
Oh, Ted thought. It was all so simple, but not to Orrie. 'Marriage' was a false and damaging construct. Orville had privileged its form over its function. Like many men, he’d believed that marrying a sweet woman would guarantee some pleasant comfort and service in his off-hours. He’d been charmed by Edwina, and expected her to stay charming. He wasn’t ready to engage with her as a separate person who could exercise influence on just about everything in his life. He’d invited that influence into his inner sanctum, and now he had to deal with it. Why had it taken him so long to realize this?
Ted wrote: “Orrie! Calm down. You must remain your own man. You made a decision for yourself, and that was the right thing to do. I am not responsible for your decision. Do you really think the fact that I’ve not had a “long-lasting” relationship with a woman makes me less of a man? Au contraire, my brother. I do not allow the contaminating influence of others, even romantic partners, into my soul or even into my daily life. I’m walking a less complicated, purer path. Friends and lovers are for moments only. The important moments are spent with your own soul. Since it’s bugging you so much, just tell Edwina the truth. Give her a chance to respond to reality! I don’t understand why you haven’t told her before now.”
It was quite late in British Columbia, and the middle of the night in the Bible Belt. Orville would not see Ted’s message for a while. Ted could understand that his words might be seen as smug or superior, but really, Orville was such a pussy. Ted was only trying to help, and had always been trying to help. Satisfied with this assessment, Ted stripped down to his underwear and socks and slithered under the blanket that topped his futon. He tapped his digital alarm clock to get the ambient music going. He had an appointment in the morning with a couple wanting to experiment with ONE solar panel to run some outdoor lights. Lame and noncommittal, but it paid.
— Macoff
He wasn’t married, and he wasn’t involved with anyone. He liked his books and his privacy, and the beauty of where he’d chosen to live. That he was still residing in a rented cottage in the backyard of his old mentor, Jake, meant nothing to him except, hey, I’m lucky! Jake and his wife Tally, both of a certain age, were winding down these days, taking it easy. Ted was their dinner guest most nights. They all got along, especially since Ted had a green thumb as far as growing marijuana was concerned. The legally allotted four plants next to the cottage were always tall, bushy, and filled with buds. Ted tried different types each growing season.
Despite himself and his alleged back-to-nature principles, Ted did have a computer, and was a compulsive poster on social media. Some nights he’d tear himself away from the screen grumbling and worrying about his seeming addiction. It was almost a relief to get an email— at least a dozen other people couldn’t chime in with their opinions. The email was from his hapless brother Orville. What now? Orville took everything so seriously. Orville was not his own MAN!
“Ted— A while back I agreed with your idea about not producing any more humans— for the sake of the planet— but now I’m not so sure. I did not relate our discussion to Edwina, and I should have. She’s always said she wanted children. My rather impulsive vasectomy procedure was probably a mistake as far as my relationship with her goes. But how can you understand, since you’ve never had a relationship that lasted more than a few weeks? You’ve led me to a very precarious place here, Ted. You talked me into this. You “inspired” me, as you have done in the past (if you recall the high school protests I helped you with when you were a senior). So tell me, what am I supposed to do now? How can I tell Edwina after two months or more of pretending nothing’s changed?
I realize now that it’s stupid to ask YOU of all people. What would you know about WOMEN? —Orville
Oh, Ted thought. It was all so simple, but not to Orrie. 'Marriage' was a false and damaging construct. Orville had privileged its form over its function. Like many men, he’d believed that marrying a sweet woman would guarantee some pleasant comfort and service in his off-hours. He’d been charmed by Edwina, and expected her to stay charming. He wasn’t ready to engage with her as a separate person who could exercise influence on just about everything in his life. He’d invited that influence into his inner sanctum, and now he had to deal with it. Why had it taken him so long to realize this?
Ted wrote: “Orrie! Calm down. You must remain your own man. You made a decision for yourself, and that was the right thing to do. I am not responsible for your decision. Do you really think the fact that I’ve not had a “long-lasting” relationship with a woman makes me less of a man? Au contraire, my brother. I do not allow the contaminating influence of others, even romantic partners, into my soul or even into my daily life. I’m walking a less complicated, purer path. Friends and lovers are for moments only. The important moments are spent with your own soul. Since it’s bugging you so much, just tell Edwina the truth. Give her a chance to respond to reality! I don’t understand why you haven’t told her before now.”
It was quite late in British Columbia, and the middle of the night in the Bible Belt. Orville would not see Ted’s message for a while. Ted could understand that his words might be seen as smug or superior, but really, Orville was such a pussy. Ted was only trying to help, and had always been trying to help. Satisfied with this assessment, Ted stripped down to his underwear and socks and slithered under the blanket that topped his futon. He tapped his digital alarm clock to get the ambient music going. He had an appointment in the morning with a couple wanting to experiment with ONE solar panel to run some outdoor lights. Lame and noncommittal, but it paid.
— Macoff
What you are doing with a complete story line ==beautifully crafted, vivid details. It's fantastic. And you take time to read/comment on a lot of others. Hats off to you (lkai)
ReplyDelete"Lame and noncommittal, but it paid." What a great last sentence!! Leave the reader looking for the next chapter ...
ReplyDeleteEverybody is in your story. :) I see them. ;) I'm not crazy about this dude, but he does say some things that are CORRECT (in my estimation). I feel like I'd have a fling with him if I could even begin to catch his attention. Clearly it would go nowhere - - which is just fine.
ReplyDelete