Do Not Open Your Mouth

Racial equity. Racial equality. Was it that my maternal grandmother was Irish and had not been raised in a culture that oppressed Black people? Was it that my elders read widely and learned how wrong segregation was and particularly the horrors of the Ku Klux Klan? Whatever the reason, I was raised to believe – to know – that Black people and other people who were not descended from western Europeans were entitled to respect and should be included in all the opportunities our country offered. By the time I was a teenager, I was having my own experiences that made it plain that white people’s treatment of Black people was cruel, degrading, and stupid. Out of the many stories, here’s one:

In school year 1963-64, I was president of my high school student council. All the officers and class representatives were invited to a banquet hosted by the Citizens’ Council (formerly the White Citizens’ Council) of the larger city next to our small town. I was driving myself. As I went out the back door, Mama said, “Do not open your mouth. Do not say one word.” We could have a cross burning in our front yard and we both knew it.

The high schoolers sat down with the several old white men. As the meal concluded, the speaker rose and eased into his remarks soon got to the point. “We don’t want these foreigners and other people not like us to be getting our jobs and opening stores and getting our business.” On he went, on and on. Anger built into rage. I was shaking as I raised my hand to speak. I started in with the history of the founding of the country and went on to the constitutional amendments that followed the Civil War. I focused on the 14th Amendment. The speaker blustered. All the white men harumphed and coughed. The meeting was closed.

I drove home equal parts proud of myself and terrified of Mama. I walked into the house. Mama said, “You opened your mouth, didn’t you?” She laughed, “I knew you would. How could you not?” We waited for the burning cross which never came.

— Marmar