What lies ahead of me is living until there is no more. Now is not the time for long-range planning, if there ever was such a time. Now is the time for living and I want to do that as fully as I can. Awake as I can be. As loudly as I hear the ticking of the clock I want to be unhurried about each moment I have. Speed is blurring. Anxiety is blinding.
Almost everything that lies in front of me has already existed beside me, though I have yet to go to Ireland, and I do want to do that. Mostly, I want more of now. More writing, more improv, more books, more singing, and dancing, more sharing with my friends. More making love. More beer. I want all the sights. I want all the sounds. I want to see more whales in the sea. More eagles in the sky, more trillium, more salal, more bird song. I want all of the joy.
And when I lose more of my family and friends, should I lose them before they lose me, I want to celebrate the time we had together. I want to help with the transitions. I want to be part of the sacred moments as difficult as they are. And only then do I want to cry for my loss. I want all of the sadness too.
What lies ahead of me is living until there is no more. Forget about what I can no longer do. There’s plenty of that. I want to pay attention to what I can do, and when it becomes less and less and less, I hope to be grateful for whatever there is left. As loudly as I hear the ticking of the clock, I hope to be as I am and as I am becoming, unhurried in each moment. Speed is blurring. Anxiety is blinding. Living until there is no more.
— DanielSouthGate
Almost everything that lies in front of me has already existed beside me, though I have yet to go to Ireland, and I do want to do that. Mostly, I want more of now. More writing, more improv, more books, more singing, and dancing, more sharing with my friends. More making love. More beer. I want all the sights. I want all the sounds. I want to see more whales in the sea. More eagles in the sky, more trillium, more salal, more bird song. I want all of the joy.
And when I lose more of my family and friends, should I lose them before they lose me, I want to celebrate the time we had together. I want to help with the transitions. I want to be part of the sacred moments as difficult as they are. And only then do I want to cry for my loss. I want all of the sadness too.
What lies ahead of me is living until there is no more. Forget about what I can no longer do. There’s plenty of that. I want to pay attention to what I can do, and when it becomes less and less and less, I hope to be grateful for whatever there is left. As loudly as I hear the ticking of the clock, I hope to be as I am and as I am becoming, unhurried in each moment. Speed is blurring. Anxiety is blinding. Living until there is no more.
— DanielSouthGate
I really like the repetition at the end of this piece. Your "ambitions" are beautiful. I wish I could get in that groove you're in, because I sense that it's REAL, and not just wishful writing. (Macoff)
ReplyDeleteThis is beautiful. Brought tears to my eyes. You have such grace
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